I know this is more of a story than a rant, but it’s my blog,
so hush. I was thinking something like this would be a cute way to bring up some
old pictures of me and Cass, and it lets me talk about things that make me
happy. So, if you haven’t heard the story, I hope you enjoy I, and if you haven’t
heard all the details, you’re about to get more than you ever needed.
The first job I worked at was as a bookseller for Barnes and
Noble. I started working there not too long after my 17th birthday,
so I was easily the youngest person there. At the time, I think the next
youngest person was about 19, so I was very much the baby of the store. I had
been working there for about six or seven months by the time the Christmas season
came around, so all the new seasonal employees were getting my hopes up for
there to be someone else younger than me. I scouted out all the newbies, and
only two of them looked like they could be younger than me.
Like I said, it was Christmas season, so it was a little
hard to get enough of a break to casually bring up how old the new employees
were. I eventually found out that one of them was 19, and that left me with one
more person to ask.
I was up at the registers and the line was getting kind of
long, so I called for a couple other coworkers to come up and help. To my
surprise, the other new guy who I hadn’t talked to yet came up and was only like
two registers over. I had a little internal panic because I hadn’t seen him up
close before, and he was actually really, really cute. After the crowd had died
down and my other coworkers were pretty much all back to the sections they
usually work in, I was fortunate enough that he was busy with a customer. I was trying so hard to stay cool and
look productive while staying in the immediate area, so I could corner him when
he was done.
As soon as the customer left, I approached him and just
tried to nonchalantly ask him how old he was. He was way more attractive from
this distance, so I felt my face start to redden. I tried to ignore it hoping
it would go away, but of course it was still probably pretty bad. He was 18. I
didn’t know if I was upset because I was still the baby, or if I was happy because
he wasn’t much older than me.
That was kind of it for a while. I thought about him and tried
to find every social media account he had. I know that sounds creepy, but I honestly
just did it so that I wouldn’t mess things up. I have a knack for always saying
the wrong things to people, so I just wanted to make sure I didn’t make a joke
about heroin or something and later find out he was a recovering drug addict or
something.
The next time I worked with him was probably only like a
week later. He was working at the registers, and the manager had me unpack some
new shipments of calendars, bookmarks, and gift items. In case you’ve never
been in a Barnes and Noble, or in case you’re completely unaware of its layout,
all those items are right next to the registers. Of course, this made me very
happy. I tried talking to him some when things were less busy—just simple questions
like if he was in school and where he went. I was trying so hard to not look embarrassed
each time I talked to him, but luckily moving boxes around was probably a good
cover if my face did happen to get red. After a bit, he started being silly
with me and just goofing off and trying on the reading glasses, asking how he
looked (he later claimed this was flirting (I obliviously assumed he was just a
nice guy)).
After this, I HAD to work every shift with him. Every time I
got called asking if I could cover someone’s shift, the first thing I would do
is check if Cass was working before I would say yes or no. Unfortunately, I still
always seemed to be working when he wasn’t there. I only had one or two other shifts
with him by the time I tried to push things further o.o
I had a night shift, and it was a weird one that wasn’t a closing
shift, but it was really close to it. I came in at 5 and got off at 8:45,
and I was working in the kid’s section the whole time. I was stuck back there
most of the night because kids are little demons who throw other people’s
things everywhere. I was able to keep things under control for a while and make
it out to the information desks and try to talk to Cass, but he was never at
the desk when I went out there. My section started getting trashed again, so I
got stuck back there for basically the rest of the night. Then. I saw him.
He came back to put a toy or something back on the shelf,
and I told myself to go say something super sexy and flirty to him. I didn’t. He
went back out to the rest of the store, so I just went back to doing my job. I knew
I was staying late, and if he was still here, he probably was too. So, the next
time I was able to sneak back to the information desk, I looked at the schedule
to compare the times our shifts ended. Mine ended at 8:45, and his ended at
9:30.
I felt like the gods were on my side since neither of us
were closing and both of us got off at similar times. I had to go back to the kid’s
section to devise my plan before he saw me, so I rushed off and racked my brain
for ideas.
I remembered I still needed to get something for my dad’s
birthday, even though I don’t like him I figured my mom would be upset if I didn’t.
So, I decided I would go to the mall and find him something, and I’d see if
Cass would walk with me to the parking garage when he got off. It was a good
distance away and it was nighttime—I figured it was a reasonable request that
could be easily denied if he thought I was annoying or weird.
I started keeping a close eye on the whole section so as not
to miss the next time he came back there. I had piles ready so if he did I
could conveniently start shelving where he was and just throw the question out
there. When he finally did, I chickened out.
I scolded myself when he left because it was starting to get
late, and I thought for sure he wouldn’t be coming back again. I kept repeating
what I was going to say to him in case he did return, and I resumed to my
vigilant watch. It was starting to get really late, yet I kept repeating and hoping.
When I had just about given up all hope, he had brought someone back to help
them find a book on the young readers’ wall. I immediately got my stack and
started shelving not too far from him, and as soon as he stopped helping them,
I homed in on him to ask my question. It came out as one long run-on sentence I’m
sure. I’m confident I sounded like an idiot, but he took it. I remember him
smiling at me and feeling unbelievably happy. I was able to make it out to the
information desk one last time, and he gave me his number.
When my shift ended, I did actually go to the mall and get
my dad a gift. I went straight for Bath and Body Works, bought a $10 gift card,
and left. I walked around for the remaining half hour before I had to go back
to meet Cass, and I just kind of wandered aimlessly, wondering if I should just
not show. Clearly, I did. I was back in the store right on time, and I let him
know I would be in the café when he was off. A couple minutes later he texted
me and asked where I was, saying he was by the info desk. To this day, I do not
know why he didn’t come to the café, since I had already told him where I was.
Like, texts don’t just disappear.
We walked out and just kind of talked some nonsense together
before we made it to our cars. I don’t really know how to put this in
sentences, so here’s a list of some of the things we talked about:
·
Green tea
·
Monsters (the drink)
·
Cannibalism
·
Self-cannibalism
·
Writing
I brought up the cannibalism…I probably shouldn’t have, but
HEY! I got the guy! We got to our cars, and awkwardly said bye to each other,
and that was about it until he asked me on our first date, but that’s a story
for another day.
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